YEARNING

COVID-19 is a lie for some people. But for people who have suffered from the disease or who have lived the experience of losing a loved one “IT IS A REALITY” that is destroying us physically or emotionally. This post briefly tells a love story temporarily interrupted by quarantine, then illness, until it became a permanent separation from the loved one.

I perfectly remember the day I met you, the first thing I admired about you was your smile.

You looked at me constantly, I felt your gaze, trying to explore my interior.

After a little hesitation I sat next to you on the bus where I met you.

You were still smiling, and your mischievous gaze began to penetrate my heart, suddenly you reached out your arm and said, “Do you want some?” Opening your hand, you offered me a cookie, wrapped in rice paper.

“I am not used to receiving anything from strange hands,” I replied. Which caused your sincere and joyous laugh to flow into the environment.

Then you defiantly and flirtatiously approached me. You put your hand over mine while you saw yourself reflected in my eyes to say, “I am Ana.”

The sensuality of your red lips, the smell of your perfume and the curling of your blonde hair upset my senses and “I smiled at you.”

Then the bus stopped. You stood up and without looking at me and you brought the cookie closer to my mouth while with the other hand you caressed my hair saying, “You can eat it now. You already know who I am.”

You looked very beautiful dressed in the uniform of the same school where I studied. When you started walking towards the exit of the bus, I yelled at you, “I’ll be waiting for you at the exit of the school tomorrow”.

You stopped walking and turned your head towards me. You looked at me very seriously and you said, “I don’t get used to strangers waiting for me when I leave school.”

“My name is Eduardo and I am in the fifth grade” I answered you. Then I said, “Now you know who I am.”

You winked at me and placing two fingers on your lips, you sent me a kiss and then got off the bus while I stayed there falling in love with you, at first sight!

The school years passed quickly, we graduated, we married, our love grew and flourished multiplying your essence in our children.

So many times, we would argue and fight, but we always forgave each other. We did not have a perfect married life. However, we were very happy together because we love each other.

Today I see you and I sigh because a deep silence separates us. I place my hand on the glass that isolates you. As my fingers slide down, my eyes flood with tears, clouding my vision and my hand separated from yours yearns for your warmth.

I would like your gaze to look for mine and make me tremble with emotion, but when I see you, I close my eyes because my heart collapses.

I can’t say what I feel in words, because I stutter remembering how your breath faded little by little due to shortness of breath.

My body lacks strength to live alone, since the light in your eyes went out. Because I only have the memory of your face engraved in my hands from the last time, I could touch you.

With my trembling hand I place two fingers on my lips and send you a kiss while I repeat from the bottom of my heart, “I LOVE YOU”.

And turning my head I shout at you, “Wait for me at the entrance to heaven as if it were at the entrance of the school because when time passes and I have to fly towards you, you will know that you have always been attached to me, “ANA “.