Who I am?

close up photo of clown doll

A few years ago, while I was talking to a group of people about how difficult it can be to define ourselves through the years we have lived, a brief silence formed that was interrupted when one of the people who was present stood up.  He looked at me insistently, while with a sharp tone and directly, he asked me: Who I am? Then he just started crying.

Strangely, the silence around us deepened to the point where the sound of tears could be heard hitting the wood of the desk where the person who was crying had sat down again.

At that moment I felt a bit intimidated because the eyes of everyone present were looking at me expectantly. Perhaps expecting a very eloquent answer or perhaps a full speech that would magically answer the question.

My mind was floating in the air, my heart was pounding and for an instant I felt my legs tremble. So, in a gentle tone I replied, “YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD AND MY BROTHER”, while I calmly walked to where the person was, took his hand to help him stand up and then hugged him allowing him to cry on my shoulder.

basket blur boy child

I cannot count the number of people with whom I have had the opportunity to talk about difficult situations to overcome that afflict their Spirit, confuse their personality, or cause emotional deficiency to define what they feel. But it is very common to find people who smile, disguising their actions with numb feelings, while making masks that they place on their faces to hide the suffering they carry in their hearts; drowning in a torrent of confusion and pain that they don’t want to express for fear of feeling criticized.

“NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU FEEL”, Many people have grown up listening to this sentence, or some of its variants, “NOBODY CARES WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU”. It is true that we should not go around showing our sorrows or divulging our sufferings. But if we feel the need to cry, we must cry until there are no more tears to shed; and we can do it alone in a secluded place or in the company of someone we trust; someone from whom we can expect understanding and respect. Since only we, ourselves, know the degree of pain that we are trying to mitigate or overcome.

person doing handcraft face mask

It is very common that when we make mistakes, we feel frustrated or angry with ourselves. It is natural to feel pain and sadness when we lose a loved one, which can be a relative, friend or pet. It is also common to feel that life is leaving us when we face situations that we cannot control and that hurt us.

My favorite phrase that I always repeat, “Talk is easy.” But living, suffering, or learning to overcome the difficulties we face in life; “IT’S NOT EASY”. It is said that from everything bad or negative that happens in our lives something new is learned or experience is gained. Which is not entirely true.

Since we suffer from unexpected situations or the consequences of our actions, from dissatisfactions or negative attitudes that if we do not correct or control; we can create a whirlwind of doubts that confuses our IDENTITY in such a way that we forget WHO WE ARE.

carnival mask decorated with pink flower

When suffering is mixed with pain, it creates such great confusion in our being that we can forget that we are Parents, Friends, Children, Brothers, Uncles, Nephews, Husbands, Professionals, Students, Guides. We can also forget that we are human beings, with defects, weaknesses, virtues, strengths, feelings, emotions; with the ability to overcome sadness and pain.

If you ever have the curiosity, the doubt, or the concern to ask, “Who I am?” Remember that the answer is as simple as it is wonderful. “YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD”. A unique being in the entire universe and with that knowledge you can face the vicissitudes of life with courage and love, to learn to smile authentically while your face is wet with tears and your heart suffers gagged with pain. Because the pain is not eternal and the suffering lasts only, a BRIEF MOMENT.

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