Submerged in the immensity of uncertainty. Trying to find an explanation for why? I feel so useless, forgotten and frustrated in the face of a world that suffocates me until I feel lost in my loneliness …
Why is it so difficult for me to express what I feel? Why can’t I just be happy? Why does the pointed finger pointing at me hurt me? Why can’t I find a logical answer to why I exist?
Overwhelmed, confused, filled with despair, I feel like I don’t fit into the puzzle of my existence. I see all the people smile; while the misty wind that comes out of their mouths hits me hard until it makes me succumb, before the incredulity of their words, which speak of me.
And I try to forget that even though I try hard I can’t be perfect. And I try to forget that I live wanting to please them. And I try to forget that even though I can breathe I feel like I’m dead.
Thus, while my thoughts fly between the line of life and the veil that separates me from the dead, my soul fights against my own thoughts. My soul screams that life will not end even if it detaches from my body.
The tears in my eyes obscure my vision and do not allow me to order my feelings. Forcing me to fall to the ground. Exhausted and totally without the strength in my body to continue fighting, I am here ready to let myself be overcome by fear.
In the depth of the inexplicability that defines what I feel, the wind caresses my hair, the morning dew on the fresh grass, moistens my chest. The first rays of the sun penetrate my heart to warm me. The song of the birds dispel the cloudiness of my thoughts. The soft murmur of nature reminds me that I AM NOT ALONE.
Because even if the whole world attacks me, judges me or condemns me without understanding me, my soul screams that I can be happy since I AM NOT ALONE.
In adversity, sadness, pain and suffering I AM NOT ALONE, because his love comforts me, guides me, protects me and encourages me not to let myself be overcome by my own mistakes or weaknesses. And the light of that knowledge lifts me off the ground.
Feeling how he vibrates inside me, the consolation of him screams to my soul that “I AM NOT ALONE” because he lives in me. I recognize that the knowledge of knowing that I am his son will help me to live. Since Jehovah is my strength, my guide, and the light that shows me the way to follow. The power that breaks down all darkness. The force that destroys all evil. The calm that calms down every storm. The peace that stops wars. The love that softens the beasts. The security that keeps me standing when temptations face me and my weaknesses. The joy that encourages me to be happy.
YES! My soul screams that I am not alone. Then suddenly the hurricane built by my thoughts, that threatened to destroy me completely, begins to get small because I will never be alone as the JEHOVA of the armies fights with me …