SUFFERING IN SILENCE

There are times when it is better to remain silent … TO BE IN SILENCE, so as not to say anything that could unleash an endless battle of words and hurt feelings. But there are other occasions when staying silent without saying anything generates a silent suffering that destroys us from the inside and little by little the kills our soul.

When I received the letter that originated this publication, I never imagined that while reading its contents I would feel so much pain and sadness in my heart. The words written on that sheet of paper were like sharp, stabbing darts that touched the darkest depths of my emotions. For this reason, after reading the letter completely, I could not sleep for three days in a row, since I could not push past its content without feeling sadness or pain. After a few days I had the opportunity to be in front of the person who wrote the letter; When I looked at her face to face, I could not say anything, the words refused to leave my mouth, so I walked towards her and hugged her tightly so that my heart would tell her heart what the words could not express … That I was also feeling her pain, in SILENCE:

Waking up every morning trying to smile, unable to look up to the sky without asking Why me? It makes me feel guilty for what happened; without reason, without explanation, just feeling pain.

Opening my eyes to the new day fills me with fear, because I feel lost in a world full of false smiles where I must secretly hide my misfortune, enduring in front of everyone a normal life despite that, for many years, I was robbed of my INNOCENCE.

My brain and my heart live in a constant war every time I see your face approaching me and I feel your hands imprisoning me, wrapping me in lascivious caresses, prohibited by human laws since they are an aberration before the eyes of God. I would like to scream, cry and fight … However, I remain silent … Suffering in silence the physical pain that you cause to my body, while little by little, you kill my SOUL.

I don’t know anymore! If it is love, obedience or terrifying fear that nullifies my senses to let myself be carried away without resisting your PUNISHMENTS. At my young age, I don’t understand why you have stolen half of my dreams from me? Why are you telling me that I deserve this punishment? That if I did not misbehave, it wouldn’t happen. How is it possible that you torture me with so much suffering, on a bed where day after day you destroy me inside, using my feelings because you know that I still love you… DAD.

Locked in the darkness of my own thoughts, I suffer this torment in SILENCE, as the world around me spins normally. Feeling that people’s happiness hurts me, I choose the wind as the only witness to my much suffering. As I walk forward pretending to live in non-existent happiness.

Feeling strong after many years in which you have used me as your toy, I have come forward to shout that I am an INNOCENT VICTIM. I do not ask for REVENGE, I ask for clemency so that one day I can forget. Because I refuse to remain silent; to suffer in the darkness of your gaze or enslaved by your horrendous punishments, removing the SILENCE that TORTURES me somewhere far away from me.

OH GOD! Wrap me in your grace because I don’t want to die in solitude covered in cold; since I have felt that the air, I breathe is CLEAN again…

No woman should suffer any form of physical abuse. No girl should suffer the pain of being outraged. But if it were to happen, “BEING SILENT” does not solve any problem, nor does it heal the wounds of the SOUL. Especially if the abuse is committed by the person, you love the most. The best thing is to COME FORWARD and SEEK HELP so as not to live suffering in SILENCE …