A CALL THAT YOU DID NOT MAKE …

The loss of a son is something very hard to overcome.  And for my friend, it was very difficult to face that situation on her birthday.  Not because she wanted to celebrate it; but because regardless of distance or circumstances, her son was always the first one to call her.

Anxiety envelops my body, while my Heart beats in a hurry, it is almost midnight, there are only minutes to  start a new day.

A special day where I can receive messages full of joy. Everyone will say “Happy birthday” but there is only one text message that could bring happiness to my life…

I cannot define if it is going against reason, because I long for your words full of love in the first minutes of the next day. Every year, as always on my birthday, I want to hear your voice over the phone repeating “Happy Birthday, Mom”.

     How ironic! My eyes see the time slowly gone on the clock, while my Heart refuses to accept that I no longer have your company.

Where is your laughter? Where is the sound of your voice? Where is that call?  That I still hope to receive before the sun rises…

The hours have been long, my eyes have run out of tears, the sunlight comes through the window and I’m still waiting for your call. It did not happen!

     My knees tremble, I cannot keep standing. I lean on the floor and close my eyes, so I do not feel any more pain. I raise an appeal to God to find consolation.

A strange heat envelops me and with closed eyes I hear your laughter that calms my agitated Heart.

I open my eyes and see everything you left around me. Then I begin to feel your presence in each of the moments we live in. I’m not crying anymore! because I feel you in my Heart; inviting me to remember that no one leaves forever, when we are joined by bonds of love and the promise that one day we will meet again in eternity will give me the strength to live in this world without you, my love.

I will be patient! I’ll wait until the day I see you again and hear your voice full of joy telling me Happy Birthday! while you wrap me in your arms, to not separate us anymore.

I will live happy! Because I have the certainty that you live in me, even though every day of my next birthday, I keep standing in front of the phone, waiting for the call that you did not make, today …