NOW, I AM A MAN…

adiliaTwo months have passed since I shared my most recent publication. My computer, keyboard, and desktop are covered in dust. It seems incredible, but every time I touch the keyboard, the dust sticks to my fingers. Leaving traces semi-tarnished by the density of feelings dormant between memories and tears, which gently awaken from dreams almost forgotten in time.

IMG_0118These two months have been very different from the other months of the year. Because the time that has passed has trapped me inside an elliptical bubble where only you existed. And it constantly threatens to explode in a torrent of bitter tears, almost impossible to stop.

ADILIA-06Seeing your smile, knowing that each smile could be the last one drawn on your peaceful-looking face, gave me the necessary strength to hold your wrinkled and tired hand from countless tasks carried out throughout your life. I placed a tender kiss on your forehead, tired and aged by the weight of the years you lived.

ADILIA-02How many times did I ask myself if I would have the courage to see you leave smiling and without crying for you? Because this is how you wanted our farewell to be—without crying, without sadness, and with the certainty that everything would be fine since our farewell will not be forever.

ADILIA-01However, when the time came to contemplate the iris of your eyes for the last time reflecting my face while its light was permanently extinguished on the face of this earth, my heart could not resist, and the dam of strength that stopped my crying broke. …Because, like you, no one will ever love me again.

ADILIA-04Today, it’s been a month since I last looked at your haggard and cold face because your body lost its heat. A month ago, your body was left without the strong and pink beat of your happy, loving heart, full of joy for living and sharing friendship. It’s been a month since your inert and lifeless body has been sleeping in the darkness of a tomb, Mom… It’s been a month since your Spirit found the Light of Truth and happily reunited with all those who loved you before me.

MAMA-01Two months have passed since my computer keyboard felt the caresses of my fingers, but today I fastened my belt because I have become a Man, since I will never again feel like a child in your arms. Your Child is already a Man …

Willing to continue living normally, but without forgetting Never. To fight to achieve my dreams with courage and tenacity, even if when the night comes, I will cry again…

MAMA-02I am willing to Receive and Deliver my friendship with love. To be happy every day that I have left to live, authentically drawing a smile on my face. Without hypocrisy, envy, anger, or wrong conflicts. Since I learned that from you, Mom. And although there are times when my heart misses you, feeling lonely or sad and longing for your presence, I will know how to keep a happy heart because, without you, PRETTY MOM!

I AM NOW A MAN!

MAMA-03

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