RETROSPECTIVE

When people begin to say that they were very happy in the past or to tell anecdotes of what they experienced in their childhood, they almost always end up crying nostalgically because of what they consider to be the best time of their lives. Normally I listen to them without interrupting, and when they are silent and spilling bitter tears, I ask them, “Would you like to make a trip to the past?” When listening to the question, they usually release and cry with more flow. Then I receive some of the most common answers: “Yes, but it is impossible.” “Yes, but nobody can’t.” While they observe me in disbelief or wait for me to magically transport them to the past so they can find the happiness that they yearn for and that is lost in their world of yesteryear.

Most people were actually happy in their childhood because they were conflated with little. They lived every moment with joy and without social or economic concerns. Because they did not understand social classes that would make them feel different from others. They did not have to support a family or pay the rent on a house. They shared what they had with their brothers or friends without selfishness and struggled to enjoy school, church, and their family. They did not plan for the future; they were not worried about what could have happened yesterday. Since they were not afraid of growing. They simply dedicated themselves to living their lives with the innocence of their childhood.

In adolescence, they perhaps acquired some minor responsibilities that helped them have some financial freedom. But they continued to live their lives immersed in the illusion of discovering a new world full of love, social stability, and friends loyal to all their adventures, regardless of the consequences of what they would have done yesterday. Maybe because they saw the future as a new opportunity to continue growing without fear of age.

When someone replies that you cannot or that it is impossible to make a trip to the past, it is when I help them understand that “if they already know they cannot return to the past, why not take advantage of the present in the best possible way and learn to be happy at this time?” Some more common answers are, “I miss my parents or siblings; I wish they hadn’t died. I miss my children, who have already grown up and gone to live very far away. I didn’t want a divorce, but I couldn’t continue living with my ex-partner. I work very hard, and I never have money. I would like to go on a trip, but I have too many responsibilities and I can’t afford it.”

Then I would like to explain that nobody can live in the past, but everyone can make a retrospective trip to the past. So, everyone can analyze why they were very happy in different stages of their lives, and then I help them understand that all human beings change over time. Our tastes change. Our way of dressing or enjoying ourselves could change. Our ways of wanting things change. Our skills and attitudes change. So, the things that made us happy in past stages of our lives, probably in the present, we would no longer enjoy with the same intensity. That is why it is difficult for us to fill the void we feel inside our hearts, and we can fill it with nostalgia or dissatisfaction.

A trip to the past in retrospect can help us improve our present and prepare us to make a new trip to the interior of our body in introspection to learn to meet our internal self in the present. If we learn to know ourselves well, with our strengths and weaknesses, we can develop new talents. Avoid things that hurt us emotionally and physically. Find new friends to enjoy new adventures. Take advantage of time by providing and receiving quality emotions or feelings to live our lives without fear of ending our time on this earth.

A lot has been written about how short life is and how eternal time is. So, if we learn to observe our past lives in retrospect, we can learn to enjoy everything we currently have. No matter if it is much or little. Whether we are surrounded by many people or alone, as long as we accept and love everything we do, we can live our lives without getting away from reality. Thus, we can make past happiness our new way of living life in the present tense.