LOVE OR CUSTOM

In a relationship, there will undoubtedly always be disagreements, anger, complaints, jealousy, confusion, forgetfulness, and probably complaints or scolding. When a problem is discussed as a couple, they almost always blame each other, because in a relationship, feelings, emotions, and passions are involved that can prevent having a neutral conversation that can help solve the conflict about which they are discussing.

Currently, there are many couples who think that the stereotype of the submissive and self-sacrificing woman living eternally happily with the classic prince, charming, chivalrous, and romantic, has been captured in fairy tales or in the imagination of a fantasy film. Because the current reality is totally different from those outdated concepts.

Some couples share the concept that obtaining a stable, harmonious, happy, and problem-free relationship is like wanting to daydream in an imperfect world. It is almost impossible to commit to living closely united in the same thought or feeling, as if they were the same body.

Some people have told me that they don’t know how to define the feelings that unite them with their partners because they don’t know if they are still in love or just living together out of habit. And the truth is that the issue of a relationship is very complicated, as is the issue of raising children. We all think very differently, and we all believe we are right in what we think about it.

When I have talked with couples, I generally take some concepts that I have learned from friends who are professionals in marital relationships. And they help us understand the correct way to establish solid foundations on which we can establish a successful and lasting relationship. Two of those principles are love and forgiveness. Love helps us to be generous, compassionate, and loyal to our partner. Forgiveness frees us from harmful feelings that can damage the relationship while helping us free ourselves from anger, frustration, and pain.

Another of the fundamental principles of keeping the flame of love alive and not allowing habits to become the bone of contention in a relationship consists of carrying out edifying recreational activities that help us oxygenate our brains while strengthening our emotional feelings towards our partner. Since every day we must work, cook, take the children to school, go to the supermarket, or clean the house, it is good to include recreational activities during the work week as much as possible to avoid doing all those things out of habit and mistakenly turning them into boring or complicated tasks to do. Recreational activities help us fulfill our responsibilities in a loving way.

It is also important to learn to know ourselves and our partner honestly, that is, with flaws and virtues. This way, it will be easier to give love to ourselves as well as to our partner, accepting ourselves as we are. Emphasizing our virtues or correcting our mistakes.

To finish this post, I want to write that the difference between living with love and living together out of habit is simply a METAPHOR that is obtained by choice. Where we can settle to live with urgency or helplessness in a loving relationship that is drowning us in disagreements or dissatisfactions instead of simply choosing to respect, enjoy, and love the person we choose to share each day of our lives with more every day. Carrying out small activities that help us live with LOVE and not out of CUSTOM.