AUTUMN COLORS IN SPRING (PART XIII)

OTONO-27We have probably heard on occasion that the world is very small and since it is round, sooner or later we will meet again with people whom we have not seen in a long time by chance or coincidences of fate. Alicia uses to live in the same neighborhood as Eduardo, she was a neighbor of her parents and a close friend of Eduardo’s mother. Although Eduardo knew that Alicia had a daughter, he never had the opportunity to meet her, because Alicia and her husband sold her house and moved out of town months after Nora was born. However, Alicia had kept in touch with Eduardo’s mother, but she always came alone whenever she visited them. Approximately, more than five years had passed since the last time Eduardo saw Alicia, so Eduardo’s astonishment when he met her again was overwhelming for him. Especially since she was Nora’s mother, who was physically identical to Ana and it was impossible for Alicia not to know that, because Eduardo’s mother had sent her photos of him and Ana’s wedding, after Ana died.

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AUTUMN COLORS IN SPRING (PART XII)

OTONO-19The expectation of being able to do something wonderful in our lives fills us with so much excitement that it is difficult to maintain our normal body functions. The night before Nora had stayed awake until dawn. Then tiredness overcame her, forcing her to fall asleep involuntarily with the image of Eduardo’s face in her mind. The next day, Nora was still sleeping in her bed, breathing peacefully, while the sound of the wind was heard hitting the roof of the house, the raindrops gradually falling to the ground. Thus, with the sound of rain little by little Nora woke up that morning.

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AUTUMN COLORS IN SPRING (PART XI)

OTONO-52How it hurts to breathe when sadness oppresses the heart, especially when the pain grows inside our chest, limiting the space available for our lungs to work properly. With slow movements Eduardo tried to open his eyes, the spotlights intensity blinding him. Little by little his pupils got used to the light and his brain began to understand the images he received through his eyes. Eduardo recognized that he was in the nurse room at the university.

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NOBODY DIES ON CHRISTMAS EVE

PASADO-02NOBODY DIES ON CHRISTMAS EVE

A phrase that resonated in my brain every December and that had a lot of meaning throughout my childhood each time a family member or friend got sick was, nobody dies on Christmas Eve. My mother would repeat it to me, while she caressed my hair when she saw me worried about someone’s health. Then my Spirit would rejoice, my faith strengthened and the hope that everything would be okay was reborn in my heart.

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AUTUMN COLORS IN SPRING (PART X)

IMG_0599Time is unforgiving, as the earth relentlessly continues to rotate on its axis every day, as it advances in its unstoppable movement around the sun. The seconds are combined into minutes. The minutes intertwine one after the other until they become hours. The hours play between day and night forming weeks that, reflected in the calendar of life, become months until they dissolve between the hands of the clock year after year.

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AUTUMN COLORS IN SPRING (PART IX)

OTONO-48Darkness, silence, and unconsciousness inhabited Susana’s brain until she slowly opened her eyes. Strident pulsations hit her senses, as she woke up to the painful and unexpected reality of knowing that Ana had passed away. The news was so shocking that Susana fainted at the same moment that she saw Ana’s body through the window of the room where she was in the clinic. Her heartbeat could be heard a meter away by the force with which it hit her chest. The tears in her eyes flowed uncontrollably. And a question floated over her nebulous mind, how many times can a mother’s heart suffer the loss of a child before it is finally broken?

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I AM NOT ALONE.

IMG_4017Submerged in the immensity of uncertainty. Trying to find an explanation for why? I feel so useless, forgotten and frustrated in the face of a world that suffocates me until I feel lost in my loneliness …

Why is it so difficult for me to express what I feel? Why can’t I just be happy? Why does the pointed finger pointing at me hurt me? Why can’t I find a logical answer to why I exist?

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NO ESTOY SOLO.

IMG_4017Sumergido en la inmensidad de la incertidumbre.  Tratando de encontrar una explicasion del ¿Por qué? Me siento tan inutilizado, olvidado y frustrado frente a un mundo que me sofoca hasta hacerme sentir perdido en mi soledad…

¿Por qué me resulta tan difisil expresar lo que siento?  ¿Por qué simplemente no puedo ser feliz?  ¿Por qué me hiere el señalamiento de dedos mesquinos que apuntan hacia mi?  ¿Por qué no encuentro una respuesta logica al porque de mi existir?

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AUTUMN COLORS IN SPRING (PART VII)

OTONO-18Ana held on tightly to her pencil, as her exam sheet fell to the floor, where she had two questions left to answer, but she couldn’t help but writhe in pain. Her belly had hardened and left her feeling as if a cramp ran through the lower part of her hips, pressing on her back, and causing an increase in the intensity of the pain that she was experiencing; pain that was enveloping her in a terrible and inexplicable way.  Feeling her bones break inside her, she let out a resounding scream that paralyzed all the activity within the classroom.

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AUTUMN COLORS IN SPRING (PART VI)

OTONO-34With a slow step, and without knowing where to go, Eduardo walked with sadness imprisoned inside his chest. His thoughts did not coordinate with his steps since he knew that he could not ask any of his friends for help. However, his brain instinctively began to guide him towards Susana’s house. The road was long, and the shadows of the night began to appear out of everywhere. Eduardo walked for four hours until inadvertently he was standing in front of Susana’s door. He wanted to knock and ask to be allowed in, but he didn’t dare to do so. Eduardo was afraid of rejection by Susana. He was embarrassed too because he had nothing to offer. Feeling sorry for himself, he allowed himself to be overcome by the feeling of helplessness that he had dragged alongside him between his feet since leaving his parents’ house, which felt like a heavy burden. Feeling that he had no hope of obtaining the approval of his parents to marry Ana, he slowly slid onto his back, leaned into in the doorway until he fell asleep on the floor hugging his school bag.

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